就這樣。

非遺書。

時間帶走了很多 很多，

也同時給了更多 更多。

獨自一人夠冷靜的時候，

我才發現到我的人生就快要步入21年了。

幼氣 

應該都收好

任性

應該都凍結

要一天比一天 獨當一面 明白理事

要一天比一天 冷漠無情 冷暖自知

想要抒發好多文字 給那個會點擊閱讀這個部落格的你..

那些我摯愛的 那些深愛我的

甚至是曾經.. 我摯愛的 深愛我的。

我已不是以前的自己

每一天的生活都是在告別昨日的自己

我已不是過往的性格

每一天的充實都隨著時間帶走了脾氣

我曾拼命想要擁有屬於自己的自由

直到現在的我眼看著自由也沒慾望觸碰

我曾恨不得能擁有個專屬的避風港

直到現在被現實抓著認清了所謂的真相

你現在深愛的人

下一刻或許已經在別人懷抱裡

你曾經深愛的人

這一秒也許已經忘記了你存在

貪心著想要身邊的人變得更好

用盡全力的責備 甚至生氣 甚至難過

如不是為了身邊的人變得更好

又何必費盡心思 難忍易怒 難忍脾氣

最後那些愛著的人 全都逃走了 全都離開了。

堅信著 依然堅信著

要走的 我不留 要留的 我不趕

我想，我也學會了貪心。

像是惡魔的行為 像是嗜血的惡毒

偶爾還是會很天真妄想擁有一個避風港

卻發現唯一的避風港竟是房裡的小角落

偶爾還是會闖事受了委屈沒有任何依靠

卻發現唯一的那依靠竟是孤寂的片影子

漸漸地 學會了再痛也不抱怨

漸漸地 領悟了再愛也不傾訴

我忘了如何時不時對一個人說我想你

我忘了怎麼時不時對一個人說我愛你

珍愛的 在心底

一旦公諸於世就會失去

相信的 藏心裡

一旦大聲宣揚就會毀了

我，還是那麼一個傻子。（：

The bottleneck.

Am I doing something I WANT to do or I HAVE to do?

What will be my future?

What will my future be?

Can I really switch my life like this? dramatically..

How long I didn't update new post at here...

I finish my first semester and too bad I didn't get good marks on that first semester..

Actually I am totally disappointed to myself.

My level is really not at degree?

Parents said my Uni sucks.. want me to transfer to other Uni. 

I really did considering.

Shall I just leave this country?

Will it be a better future?

By the way, I'm in a relationship with some one I adore that much.

My expectation about relationship getting higher and higher..

Maybe I will really stops here or maybe not.

Relationship is really something you couldn't force it.

I had enough of it but I am still desire.

Don't want to be alone.

Ask for accompany day and night.

Wondering if I wish for any accompany who will I call at the midnight?

Am I too adore you?

I let you have your enough sleep everyday.

Don't want to let you worries about what I am worried about.

You have your different ways to face problems and face me.

This is the only thing I can keep telling myself for forgiving you.

The person that I adore damn much doesn't pay me enough time for a relationship.

I am getting greedy.

Thanks for all the scar, until the day end.

I improve, I ignore.

One day.. someday.. I will stop loving anyone anymore.. 

Just one day.. Just someday..

Just not today..

I haven't get hurt enough. (:

The last day of March.

Heavy rain outside my window makes me want to get wet in it.

The room is not dark enough..

The room is not cold enough..

Not as dark as cold as hurt than my heart.

Music: Jess Lee - Force To

2014.

Everything have a ends.

My holidays is ending very soon.. :((

The new semester is going to start next Monday..

Wondering to pick up two or three subject in one semester?

I really can cover and corp?

Hope so.

Trying to give up on you.. 

and every time I decided to give up you, you will appear..

just like miracle.. 

Wish to really friendzonezonezone you! :((

Just tell me who I am in your life and I will try my best to be that person.

I don't want to be curious and keep thinking what are we anymore..

Why make us so complicated?

Hope that I will not lost you in my life and your friends too.

Saw you in some group chat listen to what you said but I didn't appear also makes me smile.

You have the secret power to make me happy?

Really don't want myself to get in any relationship to easily anymore.

Really refuse to having any relationship when the semester just started.

It will really effects me and my result.. :((

The is already the second times.. 

R said that want to be in a relationship with me.

I reject again.

Felt sorry.. but R really did so many things to me but just not beside me.

Maybe when the day comes we can have and ends and R can get the answer that R keep asking. 

R try to get everything I want.. bought it for me

Although there is some words and promise that R said before R forgot to do it.

R really can make my dreams come true?

But R can make me happy?

Erm..

New year New plan..

1.) Education 

2.) Work

Need to finish my drawing ASAP for gift to my parents.

Need to keep revision all the subject and get more information to study on.

Wish to arrange my time back and wake up early sleep early~

To be a secondary student life again lolz

To be continue..